Mentors' coaching articles
Explore our insightful articles and discover their relevance to you
The neuroscience of habits and how the brain works
Over the past decade, the integration of neuroscience, technology and behavioural economics has led to a more nuanced and comprehensive understanding of the power of habit and the pivotal role that habit plays in behaviour change. It is all about different parts of the brain and how they work together.
Check your thinking with the Ladder of Inference
We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t jump to conclusions. But when we test our assumptions beforehand, we can make better decisions, avoid unconscious biases, and adjust our initial reactions. Chris Argyris’ Ladder of Inference provides a structure to do this, making it a useful resource for anyone, especially mentors, managers and coaches.
Do you want to hide from a difficult conversation? Try this!
It has been keeping you awake. You find yourself talking to the person in your head, ranting your way through the daily commute, unable to eat or sleep well, dreading the tough conversation you think you can’t avoid.
The magical powers of dyslexic people – And how to inspire them
This is dyslexia, a learning difficulty affecting around 10-15% of us of every age, from every background and every culture. While it can cause distress, it can also be enormously positive.
Uncovering unconscious bias – developing greater awareness
These days the workplace is all about inclusive leadership and management. It is also about mentoring and coaching in a way that fosters mutual understanding and respect, plus inclusive behaviours.
Temple Grandin rates mentors super-high – Here’s why
Temple Grandin was diagnosed with autism as a child. She thinks in pictures, a novel way to solve problems in a way that isn’t accessible to people with neurotypical brains.
When two heads are better than one – The power of reciprocal mentoring
As a leader in a company, your experiences at work will be very different from those of a junior employee. In fact, everyone’s experience of work and of life differs. To make good business decisions at every level, it’s important to understand each others’ worlds, and that’s where reciprocal mentoring comes in. So what is it, and why it is such a good idea?
Discover Patsy Rodenburg’s take on Presence
It’s all about circles. Patsy Rodenberg’s take on Presence helps leaders be present in the moment and stay fully engaged with the ‘now’. Let’s explore.
Brené Brown’s Rising Strong – How to fall, learn from failure and bravely stand again
The American researcher and internet phenomenon Brené Brown’s popular book, Daring Greatly, explores the importance of not giving up. Her ideas are inspired by a speech by Teddy Roosevelt, Citizenship in a Republic, delivered at the Sorbonne in Paris way back in 1910. You can read it at the end of this post.
About Narrative Fallacy – And how to stop it running your life
Humans adore stories. We also love the idea of cause and effect, and that's why we create narratives to explain and justify the way we are, the things we do and the way we feel.
True Grit – The importance of getting your story straight
Failure hurts. When you fail, make mistakes, relationships become strained or you disappointingly lose, it can shatter your equilibrium. Inevitably it always involves having to pick yourself up and dust ourselves off. It can take plenty of resolve and resilience to start again.
Changing your negative thinking patterns – how to identify mind traps and free yourself up
You think your innermost feelings are hidden. Maybe you're not even often sure what they are. But the language you use provides all sorts of clues about the way you're feeling, your attitudes, fears and more. In fact, our language can highlight distortions in our thinking, and it does it surprisingly clearly.
Fine-tune your resilience – 3 secrets to staying steady in tough times
Every one of us is faced with great difficulty right now during Covid19 lock-down, and plenty of us are facing tragedy. Many of us are feeling wobbly. We're riding so many emotions in one day, the unfolding situation is unprecedented and it's hard to manage.
Live more freely with Virginia Satir’s Five Freedoms
Virginia Satir was an influential American author and psychotherapist, respected for her innovative approach to family therapy during from the 1950s onwards. Her pioneering work led to her nickname, the Mother of Family Therapy.
About the process of transition – And how to handle it well
Everyone experiences transition at work. It can be as dramatic as a seismic shift in the outlook of the business or as basic as someone familiar leaving the firm, the loss of a loyal supporter. The key is to recognise a transition point when you reach one, and to handle it well.
Working with three horizons in mind – shaping new futures
We are living in such uncertain and volatile times. Everyone is searching for some ‘handle’ on the future? We are seeking to see what emerges and how to shape different futures - find a way forward through all the uncertainties and complexities.
Harness Virginia Satir’s Change Curve to lead change better
Change can make a lot of us feel very uncomfortable. We can find ourselves lost in the midst of change, unsure how to move forwards, worried about the results and implications of doing things differently. Some people are so reluctant to change that it can cause real problems. As a coach, manager or mentor, change is something you’ll to support people with.
Understanding the grief cycle
Grief. It’s part of the human condition, part of life. At some point in our lives we all have to deal with it, and we all do so in different ways. At the same time there has always been a need to deal with grief with grace, deconstruct it, handle it and understand it. That’s another part of the human condition. We can’t help ourselves.
The benefits of Reverse Mentoring for more inclusive working
Mentoring usually involves older or more experienced people passing information down to younger, less experienced people. But what if we turned that on its head? Could there be advantages around younger, less experienced employees mentoring older, more experienced colleagues?
Sparking Creativity by Joining the Dots – Part 3
In this blog, I take a closer look at the idea of creativity being seen as a process of ‘joining-the-dots’ and how this idea links to what we know about both individual and group creativity. And how you can use this understanding to bring creativity into your world.
The Scarf Model – David Rock’s take on social threats and rewards
You’re a business manager, leader, change agent, mentor, or coach. Your working life is all about having significant conversations that encourage collaboration, and a big part of that is influencing others. It’s a constant challenge.
Beware – Don’t let ‘busy’ eat into your strategic priorities
Picture this. You're busy. Very busy. Time is running away with you! You're rushing around getting stuff done. But wait a moment – are you really getting things done? Or have you let 'being busy' divert you from your strategic priorities and goals?
About learning styles – Our preferences around effective learning
Take a set of instructions, say the instructions for a self-assembly Ikea wardrobe. You might dive straight in and start the job without reading the instructions – plenty of us do. If you get stuck you might refer to them, but otherwise you find your own way.
About the Drama Triangle – And how to escape it
If you've ever found yourself trapped in a personal Drama Triangle, you will already know how detrimental it can be to relationships. But it also rears its ugly head in a business context, and it's something well worth watching out for.
How different nationalities see the world differently – And why it matters
Tip a waiter in the USA and you'll get a smile, but tip a waiter in Korea and you can cause offence. In a country where people take a lot of pride in their jobs, extra incentives to get it right the first time are an insult.
What makes a great mentor?
Have you ever enjoyed the support of a skilled mentor, someone whose qualities and attitudes have helped you become the best you can be? Maybe you've been lucky enough to have had more than one fantastic mentor helping you reach your goals?
Kintsugi, wabi-sabi, and why it’s fine to be imperfect
In Japanese ‘Kintsugi’ means to 'join with gold', an elegant and graceful way to mend broken pottery, leaving the mend fully visible and highlighting it with the precious metal. The pot shards are fused back together with gold, and the gilded cracks become part of the object's beauty.
Has your enthusiasm wilted? Are you bored? You might be pot-bound in your role!
The alarm clock goes off. At first there's that lovely blank feeling, the feeling you get just before you fully wake and realise what your day will involve. Then you remember it's a weekday and your mood sinks.
Forget your superchickens and connect better for brilliant teams
Margaret Heffernan recommends we move past the pecking order at work. As the successful former CEO of five businesses, Margaret has discovered that one of the most common ways businesses are run invariably leads to troubled waters.
What does it mean to flourish at work? Introducing the PERMA Model
Are you happy at work? For most of us, our professional experience is a mix of frustration and fulfilment, plus many hours of grind which can be bland and monotonous. It can also be the opposite, highly pressured and seemingly relentless.
Finding your rhythm to achieve the work exercise balance
Do you find daily exercise a constant struggle as it’s often the first priority to get scratched as you juggle a myriad of deadlines at work and at home?
Flattery isn’t feedback – it rarely encourages or inspires genuine confidence
How do you feel about being flattered? Most of us find it slightly uncomfortable, even though we're not always sure why it doesn't feel right. Praise and encouragement almost always feel real. Flattery and ingratiation tend to have a shallower edge, an undercurrent that isn't as positive as it might at first seem, a hidden agenda.
Well-formed outcomes – starting with that end point in mind
Well-formed outcomes help people get clear about what it is that they want to achieve. Shaping up future outcomes that are highly defined from the start, is a creative and disciplined way of thinking. One that can have real potency.
Always busy? Getting busier? Slowing down could change your life!
Everyone's busy. Plenty of us are really, really busy, all of the time. Some say busy-ness has reached epidemic proportions in the wealthy western economy. But is being so busy you can't easily turn around and can't always think well, really a wise approach to work?
Why your glass is actually half full – The value of positive psychology
Are you in the habit of being a 'glass half empty' person, a bit of a pessimist? If so you can learn to become more optimistic, learn how to fill that glass even if you're easily discouraged. You can steadily learn how to change your habitual reactions. Here's why it matters, and how Martin Seligman’s approach and techniques can help you.
How to slow down, calm down, and harness non-violent communication
At various times in your career you'll probably find yourself handling a variety of challenging situations. In fact anyone on an upward career path will encounter tricky circumstances at one time or another, involving unhappy, disappointed and frustrated people. So how do you manage yourself, and them, effectively?
16 Reliable Ways to boost your presentation skills
As narrative coaches we're hot on presentation skills. How are yours? Are you struggling to make impactful presentations?
Help – I’m in a Double Bind and it’s Holding Me Back!
Does this sound familiar? On the outside, to a casual observer, it looks very much like you're committed to that goal, dedicated to bringing about that change, determined to crack that habit.
How to stop your blind spots from tripping you up
Our blind spots often develop when we’re young. They help us survive, and they often start off being pretty useful. But as time goes by and your past successes become your only way to succeed in the present and future, things can get tricky. If our only approach to solving problems doesn’t work in certain environment, we’re lost.
Are You Struggling to Overcome the Imposter Syndrome?
Do you ever feel like an imposter? It's a surprisingly common phenomenon amongst leaders like you. If you find you're constantly worried that someone will realise you're not up to the job and 'find you out', you're not alone.
Take a Better Approach – Make Difficult Work Conversations Easier
When was the last time you absolutely dreaded a difficult conversation you knew had to take place at some time or another? Or put it off, or avoided it altogether? It isn’t unusual.
Want to Become More Flexible and Resilient? Then Simply Let Go…
Are you holding onto pain when doing so doesn’t fix a thing? Are you replaying the past over and over, even though you know it won't change? Do you find yourself wishing things were different? At home or at work?
Changing habits – How long it takes to loop the loop, and how to do it
If you've ever eaten too much chocolate three weeks after a New Year resolution to not do so, or given up on the gym in favour of lounging around, you'll already know it. It can be hard to change a habit.
Want to try something new? Test it with an experiment
We don’t tend to see the world as it really is. We filter the things we see and learn based on our feelings, experiences, beliefs and priorities.
The neuroscience of habits – And how mindfulness can break them
Some habits are good, some are dreadful, others deserve close critical examination, and some particularly strong ones even hold us back from being the best we can be, both in our personal lives and our careers.
Keeping things simple – Why less really is more at work
The Apple genius Steve Jobs knew it. Less really is more. It's a saying we've all heard, and it's an excellent approach to life in general as well as work in particular.
Black Box Thinking – Own your mistakes and learn from your mistakes!
Black Box Thinking is all about learning from our mistakes. According to the author, Matthew Syed in his great book with the same name, it also links neatly into having a growth mindset.
Not taking things too personally – How to develop a thicker skin at work
Do you cope with criticism at work? Or do you feel every less-than-positive word is like a personal injury? When your skin is too thin for comfort you’re emotionally vulnerable, on edge and much more likely to feel overwhelmed or low. And that can make working life very uncomfortable indeed.
Shine at your next interview – How to prepare for success
How are you at job interviews? Some people cope just fine, managing to stay calm and focused. Others feel terribly nervous, forget what they want to say, lose the plot, fall apart. Do you struggle to give concise answers at interviews?
What is Emotional Intelligence? EQ is vital ingredient for success
Emotions are essential to human survival. But it’s all too easy for them to run away with us, especially under pressure. If you’ve ever really lost your temper in a work context you’ll know how unproductive it is. It can be difficult to handle and manage your emotions unless you know how you’re feeling from one moment to the next.
The exciting benefits of a multi-generational workplace
As the brilliant Chip Conley says in his Ted Talk about intergenerational workplaces, “It’s hard to microwave your emotional intelligence”.
The power of visual storytelling in a digital age
Michael and Jack Whitehall are an unlikely double-act - a father and son duo. In their talk-show, Backchat, and with their recent travel shows, Travels with my Father, they constantly, repeatedly miss each others’ point. Their humour is based on the fact that Michael aged 79 and Jack aged 29 live in the same world but also inhabit totally different worlds. Their assumptions, their beliefs, the things they value are at total variance with each other.
Affirming our differences – What’s your label?
In today’s complex, fluid world, many of us define ourselves by just one or two aspects of our identity. These identity-defining aspects are very important to us, and when we become invested in them that investment often takes the form of very strong emotions.
Optimise your business mind: Harness the Chimp Paradox
We have a lot in common with chimpanzees, our close genetic relatives. Like us they use tools, recognise themselves in mirrors, experience emotions. But if you've ever seen footage of chimps at war, chimps carrying out a brutal murder, chimps losing the plot completely, it's easy to see they're far from human. We tend to have more control over our emotions... most of the time!
Resistance to Change in the Workplace – And How to Handle it
Change in business is natural. It feeds progress and drives success. Organisations can change their tactics, strategies and plans, their management structure, the tech they use, their culture, goals, markets, priorities, all sorts of things. But at the same time research reveals around 70% of change fails thanks to resistant employees.
The 7 secrets to a great new role
We coach a lot of people in transition. Transition coaching, helping people move from one role to another, is a distinctive niche in the coaching market.
Your USP – define your unique selling point
In business it’s our USP, our Unique Selling Point, how we distinguish ourselves from everyone else, that makes us different, that makes us special. That’s why people want to buy from us. Our brand is what makes us distinctive. Our USP is the very thing that makes us what we are, our ‘thisness’.
Leaving your comfort zone – What happens at the edge?
Staying in your comfort zone may seem like a great idea. It feels really comfortable and familiar. The thing is, humans are wired to grow and develop.
Rustout– About Burnout’s Lesser-Known Relative
Search online and you might find a few articles about it, none of which are particularly comprehensive. 'Rustout' isn't anywhere near as well covered, explored and discussed as the better known 'burnout'.
Executive burnout: Do you know how to spot the signs?
According to government statistics,stress, depression or anxiety accounted for 40% of all work-related ill health cases in 2016/17 and 49% of all working days lost due to ill health.
How values – And being savvy about them – Will enhance your career
Focusing on your deeply-held values can be extremely beneficial at every stage in your career. Understanding your core professional values and how they directly influence you in a working context will help you to be yourself with far more skill. Values ground and anchor you. When life and work engage your values strongly, and you can express them congruently, you’ll be more fulfilled. But when there’s tension and conflict around them, the opposite happens.
Stress Recipe managers need to avoid
Central to any management position is the thought that people matter. Organisations may say people are their number 1 asset but it is usually up to line managers to demonstrate this by how they relate to their staff. Yet providing recognition in ways that work for everyone can be challenging for any manager.
Mind the Gap – How to Manage Expectations
There’s often a gap between what you expect and what you get, and it can cause ructions. You can avoid the pitfalls by managing your own and others’ expectations, but that’s easier said than done. Your first step? You need a good level of awareness, plus the knowledge that while the gap is often invisible in work conversations, that doesn’t mean it isn’t there. Here’s how to mind that gap.
Coaching and mentoring intergenerationally – when you were born matters!
In business it’s our USP, our Unique Selling Point, how we distinguish ourselves from everyone else, that makes us different, that makes us special. That’s why people want to buy from us. Our brand is what makes us distinctive. Our USP is the very thing that makes us what we are, our ‘thisness’.
Saying ‘No’ Without Causing Hurt, Offence or Consternation!
If you struggle to say 'No' at work, whether it's to your employees or those line manage you, here's how to use this small word to improve your working life.
A Practical Approach to Resilience at Work
Work demands things of us. The job itself, colleagues, bosses, clients and suppliers all create pressure. But demands that are difficult or impossible to meet create too much pressure, which in turn drives stress.
Managing Virtual Teams to Achieve Powerful Results
You can be as brilliant as you like as an individual, or as a group of individuals, and once you form a fully-functioning team, whether it's virtual or physical, you almost always achieve more than the sum of the parts. Having said that, without careful management and constant nurturing a virtual team can easily fail to gel properly in the first place... and just as easily fall apart.
Recognising the people who give us real confidence
Who gives you confidence? Here’s why trusted advisors help business executives achieve the very best in their game.
How to turn mistakes into positive learning experiences
While it's annoying to discover you've got something wrong, mistakes happen... to everyone. Luckily the most important thing is the way we view the mistakes we make.
Body Language and Coaching – Going Right to the Heart
Body language sits at the heart of great coaching. How well do you listen to your clients' body language, and your own? Find out all about it...
Context counts – Listening with your client’s system in mind
The best executive coaches listen with their clients' systems firmly in mind. Here's why systems are so important in a coaching landscape.
The different dimensions of listening
People frequently talk about levels of listening as if listening is a set of logical steps that you can access one after the other. Sometimes listening is compared to driving from first to fifth gear then back down again, occasionally back tracking and moving into reverse!
Steering Clear of Leader’s Bottleneck Syndrome
As a leader, you end up involved in every tiny aspect of the business. You eventually end up in a leader's bottleneck. Here's how to avoid it.
Here’s how to polish your completer-finisher skills
Do you start off fired up with enthusiasm then steadily deflate? If you have issues with deadlines, here's how to polish your completer-finisher skills.
How Prioritising Your Workload Pays Dividends
Prioritising is an essential skill, often the only way to stay sane in a world that just keeps getting busier. Here's some help to stay in control
Delegating well and avoiding pitfalls
Delegation is a sanity-saver, a distinct management skill that can change the way you work for the better and enable you to achieve more. Here's how.
How to make a brilliant job of your next interview
Are you great at interviews, or do you get stuck at certain points? Here are some great tips for creating the very best job interview experience for everyone concerned.
How to Run Great Business Meetings
There's a way to run face to face and virtual meetings. Get it right, and it will enhance your career as well as getting essential things done. Here's how.
Managing your perfectionism at work
Perfectionism at work can be a wonderful thing. It can also be a nightmare for you and everyone around you. Here's how to deal with it and dial it down.
How to make your CV stand out
A great CV sits at the heart of every successful career move. How do you create a winning CV that gets you that new role? Here are our CV tips.